i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
