Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize