marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
