I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
