Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
