i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize