what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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