you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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