Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
There's always time for handjobs
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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