She went from zero to smokin in five shots
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize