lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
