I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
