So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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