I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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