Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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