oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
