Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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