dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
