just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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