You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize
