Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
