Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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