Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
