Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
