I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
