Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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