Just took my morning after pill in the library
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
