A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
