tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
