We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
