Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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