Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
