Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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