yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
