There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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