i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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