(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
