I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
