I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
