he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
