Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
tell me about the eggs
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
