they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
You can't just leave with hair like that
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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