I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
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