you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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