If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I want a musical about memes.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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