Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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