Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
