Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
