I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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