I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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