doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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