dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
