Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
it glows. i had to have it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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