All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We talked him into tasing himself.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
