I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
