Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
