Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Randomize
