She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
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