Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
