thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
