the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
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