it wasn't lemon gatorade
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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