she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
