I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
